Things have been kinda crazy around here lately...I sincerely think I need to start drinking or something..more than I already do. lol I think for a short period of time, it might be nice to be in an alcohol induced crazy ass state of mind when my demon daughter starts crap with me. Turn 13 already! Cybil makes more appearances than Katie does, I'm wondering what Cybil did to her..she is somewhere hiding deep below giggling as Cybil makes a new hair on my head turn gray. The other day I was explaining to her that she needs to be more responsible...it's been terrible, forgetting shit all the time. So, the very next day, shes getting ready to leave for school, I'm half asleep and I say "Do you have everything? You didn't forget anything did you?" Only to be acknowledged.."Yes, mother! God!" I crawl back into bed..I hear what sounds like running footsteps back towards the house, the door slams..."Mom! You gotta get up and drive me back down to the bus stop, I forgot my cheerleading shoes!" I'm gonna murder her.
OMG! I had the craziest dream last night! Ya know the black guy in the Allstate commercials with the sexy deep voice??!?? I was dreaming that I was leaning up against the kitchen counter and he walked up behind me and pushed his body up against me..close enough I was poked in the lower back with something..he must've had somethin in his pocket..yep, lol Anyways, he leaned in and whispered in my ear, in his deep sexy voice.."Can I have a glass of water?" So I had to pour him a glass of water with him and his member pinning me to the counter, it was awkward to say the least, but a little exciting at the same time..lol don't know where the hell that came from! I think I need to have some sex..lol
So, yesterday, the landlord AKA creepy old man who wants to see me naked, is mowing my lawn...I got to park the car and run inside before he can shut his lawnmower off and yell "Hello!" Running, and carrying the shit I gotta carry, when I drop my water bottle...DAMN! The mower stops....I throw up in my mouth a little bit, wave behind my head, pick up my bottle and run into the house! Tyrone sees me dodging the landlords advances, and comes to my rescue...wheels outside and talks to him for me, allowing me to get into the house and hide underneath my bed. ugh~ I guess it wouldn't be so bad, if he could give me a month or two off the rent..I'd have to have a puke bucket next to the bed though..His gold tooth gives me nightmares~Perhaps if I was in an alcohol induced stupor.....
So I bought one of those Space Bags yesterday that you place your blankets and pillows in and then suck all the air out until it is a flat little pancake. Easy enough right? I'm actually a little moist thinking about it..I shall space bag every fucking thing in this joint! I will have so much extra space around here, I will be giddy. I will report my comments on this remarkable seen on tv product...Perhaps they will have me do an infomercial..I'm way cuter than Billy Mays ever was, RIP Billy...
Well, I got shit to do...bags to suck, and what not
No comments:
Post a Comment