I created this damn blog so I could talk about being a caregiver, but I usually on bitch about other stuff...oh well, I think I will rename it Christina's Drama...
Okay, I have said this many times before and I think everyone must of thought I was joking or something, cause no body has applied for the job...but I really do need a wife. I have lots of shit to do. I have to take care of Tyrone all day, or when he hollers for me...lol I have to do laundry, make dinner for my demon daughter to her level of satisfaction..(apparently, I have failed at this task a lot lately, as she bitches every night about the dinner that I have chosen to make and not consulted with her prior, where do I get off?) Anways, like I was saying...I want a wife who can do all those wife like things for me. I would like someone to cook me dinner while I sit on my ass and watch reruns of Judge Judy as I paint my nails. Judge Judy is flippin awesome and she deserves my complete undivided attention, and I feel bad cause I haven't had any time to spend with her lately, and she is probably sad about that. I would like a wife to do laundry for me every two days. You know your favorite pair of underwear? You know you have a favorite pair! They're nice and roomy and don't ride up or nothing, or roll down in the front cause your gut is bigger than it used to be..Well I have 2 pairs of these favorite pieces of undergarments. So I need my laundry done every two days so I don't have to wear the underwear underneath those that are skimpier and kind of sexy. I haven't had to get into the sexy underwear in a while and I feel kinda happy about that. I like my favorite underwear. So, since I only have 2 pairs, she will have to keep up on that. I also would like someone to sweep the floors for me. My demon/daughter is supposed to do this every Friday but she does it as half ass as you can possibly do and then screams..."That's the best I can do! God!!" It's quite dramatic. I tread lightly around her lately, as I am sure she plots my demise while I sleep. And I would like my wife to tell me how beautiful I am at least 4 times daily. She should offer to fetch me things too, like the remote when it is too far for me to reach without getting up or leaning far too much which might make me pull a muscle or nick my painted fingernails. I don't need the wife for sexual purposes, so that would be good. We would both be able to get a full nights sleep in separate beds of course, cause i don't roll that way. I think I would have to get her her own room on acounta I snore sometimes. It's a very light, ladylike snore that you can barely hear..yea right..but I would give her her space. I think that would be wonderful. And perhaps she could go out and find a part time job and give me all of her earnings, too. I would give her $5 a week to spend on whatever she wants and the rest would go to me. I after all, have to pay the bills....yup..this marriage thing could work out well...now all I need is to find a pretty little wife who will do everything I say..shouldn't be a problem, right? Who's ready to apply?? Anyone? Hello?
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