Fold the laundry you lazy cripple!

I have had a busy few weeks...i've been extra busy with wifely duties even though I am no longer a wife....I really could use a wife..as you may have read in some of my previous posts, but no one has yet to apply for the position...yea, fuck you toos...fine! I'll do it all myself, as usual..all while making Tyrone feel guilty for being a lazy crippled ass.  Yea..I say that too him a lot...I'll ask him to fold the laundry while I'm gone, and I come home and he hasn't done a God damned thing except play free cell on his computer and throw the newspaper off the table onto the floor.  His contribution to my gray hairs.  He's so sweet..don't get your panties in a freakin bunch...I love the crippled bastard...it's okay...I kinda figured when I moved him in with me that he wouldn't be much of a help around the house, but thought that I'm kinda magical and maybe I could change him...yep, so I still gotta fold the laundry...I'd ask demon daughter to do it, but I have received the look of death already 8 times this week, and I'm pretty sure she's plotting my horrific and painful death.  It's strange that every time I ask her to do something for me, she comes down with bizarre illnesses...I haven't figured it out and will probably have to take her to the doctor for them to put her back to normal, or better than normal...I'll say, please fold this laundry for me..."But mom!!  I can't cause I have a pimple on my butt and it hurts real bad when I sit and I can't sit and fold laundry!!" Okay, well please unload the dishwasher.. "But mother! I can't because they just finished their cycle 3 hours ago and the dishes are still warm and I'll probably get burned which will be bad cause my hands have been hurting a lot lately."  Go clean your freakin pigsty room! " But MOTHER!!!  I can't because I have a headache and everytime I bend down to pick something up off the floor it makes me dizzy and I think I'm gonna pass out!"  Oh dear God...get me my fucking vodka.

Well, I've been sleeping quite well lately.  This is how I measure my stress.  When I was married to my DKD (Dear Kid's Dad...or Dicky Kid's Dad..your pick) yea, shut the hell up...my kids don't read my blog.. anywhoo...I was so stressed and hardly slept...most of the time I lay there awake listening to him sleep which would piss me off that he could sleep when it was so completely obvious how furious I was because I wouldn't say good night..he should have known that I was pissed about whatever...he was supposed to be able to read my mind after 17 years of marriage..right?  anyway...glad that's over cause I was so stressed and couldn't sleep, so I would lay there plotting his demise....or what shit I would leave for him and what I would take...HA  When I divorced him, I had a hard time sleeping, cause I was going through a crazy divorce and still sleeping with him and all, which was weird..it would keep me up at night wondering why I hated his guts yet still needed a booty call once in a while...Now, he's remarried and I'm very happy and now I sleep like a freakin rock!  It's great!  I can fall asleep anywhere at anytime...I told Tyrone well, now u will know when something is bothering me..I won't be able to sleep.   In fact, I had to have a renal ultrasound the other day to check some things out...no worries..I'm fine and will be able to fill your lives with glee for several more years~  Anyway, I actually fell asleep during the ultrasound! HA...the chick touches my arm and says....Maam, you need to take a deep breath and hold it...lol  Damn woman! Don't wake me up, this is me time!  Well, Tyrone is yelling for some coffee...Damn man! I'm busy!  Everybody always wants something from me. ~Fuck them all~