Saturday, June 25, 2011

Tyrone my big beautiful black beast

I have decided to change my client's name to Tyrone to protect myself from any charges of taking advantage of him that may or may not develop down the road....I have changed his name to Tyrone because I picture him as a big beautiful black man.  He tans like crazy and is almost black anyway.  So it's kinda true....So me and Tyrone, decided to watch a movie last night recommended by my dear mother.  My dear mother, usually has pretty good recommendations, although this one was borderline mentally disabled....which really means it was retarded as hell, but because I am always sympathetic and politically correct, I will say mentally disabled.  So anyway, this mentally disabled movie was Inglourious Basterds and it starred the yummylicious Brad Pitt~  He was from Tennessee or some other hillbilly state down south and had an accent that was completely stupid.  It was too hillbilly, ya know how you can be hillbilly and then there's extreme hillbillyness.  He is extreme.  It was about how we killed Hitler, or how Hitler should have died, anyway.  I think they must have said "yes, my Fuhrer, a bazillion times...I think that I will start calling Tyrone "my Fuhrer "  It's got a nice ring to it, and he is always telling me what to do, ya know like  "Are you gonna feed me today?" and "How bout a shower? It's been a week and a half? "  Yea Yea Yea....I'm busy playing Farmville!  What is more important?  I know, my damn crops!  I can't let an entire crop of beans wither away!  Geez!  Anyway, what was I saying....oh yea, Tyrone.  Tyrone and I watched this 2 hour and 33 minute movie, that I had to read more than 60% of it...I don't wanna read when I watch a movie, that's why I'm watching a movie and not reading, damnit!  Then it flashed so damn fast that I had to speed read, and read aloud cause Tyrone can't see that far without his glasses...anyway, it sucked, but we watched the whole damn thing cause we thought, "It's gotta get better, right? "  Wrong....Tyrone hated it, and I thought it was weird.  I think we should become the next Siskel and Ebert.  We are much better looking.  I wonder how you get that job....I'm gonna look into it.  Although you have to sit and watch movies all the time, which kinda makes me feel lazy....oh well, I'll keep the job I have I guess....I gotta clean my house now, Tyrone's brother, Antwoine is coming over for dinner with his wife, Shaniqua.  It's gonna be a big black beautiful blast~
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