Saturday, May 26, 2012

Smoking pot and sweaty boobs

Hello all! That title got your attention, I know it!  HA, now because of your interest in my sweaty boobs, you are stuck here reading my blog!  HA!

It is I, once again, your favorite blogger that posts less frequently than the locusts visit.  I am just so busy.  You know, all the awesome mom things ya know.  I have to chauffeur Cybil around to her various destinations.  She is involved a lot which I like, my first kid wouldn't do anything.  lol  Sorry my sweet.  She did do girl scouts for a few years and I was lucky enough to make her dreams come true by being the leader.  I'm sure she loved that the only hour a week she could escape my presence and lunacy, that I was there too.  No such luck, little child.  She also did basketball for like a hot second.  Can't remember why she quit that after only a couple games.  She really didn't have any WNBA recruiters busting down our front door, so perhaps that's it.  It reminds me of when I joined the track team in the 7th grade.  I was going to be the best track superstar of the entire school.  I was going to have people from all over the country attend the track meets of the amazing girl who can jump hurdles like she is on fire.  Well, it all started with this boy.  That's usually how it starts right? I mean who wants to go and get all sticky sweaty and stuff on purpose.  yuck.  I hate to sweat.  Perhaps if I was less endowed I wouldn't care so much, but when you have that under the boob sweat, it's totally not fun, and when you put powder under there it just gets all cakey and shit.  Sometimes I think I would totally like to have small boobs, so I wouldn't have to wear a bra again.  But then my daughters wouldn't make fun of me wearing one of those tank tops with the built in boob shelf as a bra.  And I like to totally freak my daughters out.   It's kind of a hobby for me..but those tanks are totally comfortable as hell, right? You know that when you come home, the bra comes off!  My daughters insist on wearing bras all the time, even when they sleep so their boobs are not saggy like their moms.  They are certain it's because of those sling tank tops.  Oh well.  I couldn't care less.  But, I would gt them perked back up in a hot second if I ever won the freaking lottery.  Although, I would ask for the super firm version so I wouldn't have to wear a bra.  Perhaps they could put rounded metal shelves under the silicone.  That's a million dollar idea right there!

Okay, I think I got off track.....cripes.  Well, anyway there was this boy....And now that I think about it, this boy was very dorky looking.  I didn't shoot my hopes too high by falling for the football and basketball players, I set my hopes low and a little more realistic by dating the members of the track team, and if we had a chess team, probably them too.  Although there was a druggy I had my eyes on for quite awhile.  Purrr...he is still extremely hot, even after 20 years.  Can you believe it?? I have been out of high school for 20 freaking years!  The graduates and end of school has made me remember my high school days.  I had a lot of fun! Probably too much fun, but was also a pretty good kid.  I never got in trouble, except for my "Ban the Spork" campaign my senior year.  I was a rebel.  I didn't have my first joint till I was 36 years old.  That's pretty amazing in my opinion.  Perhaps if I hooked up with the hot druggy I could have experienced more psychedelic awesomeness at an earlier age.  But I'm happy I stayed drug free.  I only did it when I was 36 cause all my friends were doing it and I wasn't going to be the one who didn't ya know....peer pressure...it's a dangerous thing.  And in all honesty, I don't even think it worked....perhaps I was just too drunk from my Sailor Jerry and cokes to notice.  Sailor Jerry will fuck. you. up.  He's a wicked bastard.  Waking up on the floor by the toilet with my pants around my ankles and my so-called "friends" taking videos of me with their phones wasn't cool.  But, ya know, if it wasn't me on the floor, I totally would've had my phone out too.  Totally.  Ha.

Anywho...get back to doing something productive, would ya? Go stalk people on facebook, or whatever floats your dingy. 

Till we meet again,
me

No comments:

Post a Comment